What is Marriage?

Our culture today has gotten away from God's plan for marriage. We seem to think that our way is better than God's.

The protection of marriage and defense against unbiblical divorce is rooted in the worship of God.

Divorce was never part of the original plan. But because of sin, and its ability to blind peoples hearts, divorce has become the new normal.

If you want make your marriage work you have to be willing to sacrifice for each other. God knew we needed two genders in order to have a companion. When you leave your father and mother and cleave to one another you become ONE FLESH. It's not just talking about the physical part of a marriage. We cannot look at our lives as an individual. We must always have a "WE" outlook for all aspects of life. How "WE" spend our money. How "WE" plan vacation. We are not free to focus only on ourselves. Every decision we make from now on will affect our spouse, we are no longer two people, but ONE FLESH.

Do you live that way? Do you think about your spouse when you make decisions? Do you consider your spouse before spending money? Marriage is something bigger than just your happiness.

It's not all about YOU! It's not just about your comfort and happiness. 

God knew what He was doing when he made you and your spouse. He had a bigger plan that we couldn't see. There was not one surprise in all of this. 

We seem to always view life from a horizontal perspective "what is comfortable for ME". Instead of viewing life from a vertical perspective. Never a good idea.

God knows that we will feel weak and incapable of loving our spouse. He knows we will fail and struggle to forgive. The purpose of the marriage relationship is to force us to lean on Him for grace and redemption.

The problem in marriages that end in divorce is they have failed to worship God first and foremost.
Divorce is permissible in God's eyes in the case of adultery or the abandonment of an unbelieving spouse.

The hope for marriage is to worship God as your Savior not just your lawgiver. His grace is sufficient and is made perfect in our weakness. 

What it means to be Great?

We live in a culture that gets greatness all wrong. We are not great because we are famous or we are good at sports. We are not great because we are popular or beautiful. Those things do not define greatness.

Our culture is obsessed with celebrities. We have a twisted definition of greatness. We need to learn what the Biblical meaning of greatness really is.

Mark 9:34-35 "But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest. And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all."

All of us have been affected by sin. It is the ultimate human disease. None of us are able to deliver ourselves. Sin is not just behavior, its a matter of the heart. We cannot defeat sin because we cannot escape our flesh. So God made a way by sending his Son to die for our sins. There was no other way.

We are all guilty and unable, but God is Holy and Willing...Yet we all try to minimize the gravity of our condition. We are all so good and explaining away our sin. Blame it on being too busy or too tired. 

We can only celebrate the cross when we are ready to admit how desperate we are. The gospel is bad news before it becomes good news. It forces us to face the reality of sin in order to understand the glory of GRACE.

Sin fills us with a desire for our greatness. Sin makes it all about us. One of the most seductive idols Is the idol of self. That is why it feels so good to tell the best story. That is why it feels so good to win an argument. That is why it feels so good to drive a better car than your neighbor. That is why it feels so good to step over someone to climb the ladder of success. Sin causes us to put ourselves in the center of our world. We all do it!

Spending money we don't have on something to make us happy. Yelling at our children and walking away. We have all done it this week. Maybe even today.

Jesus came so we wouldn't live for ourselves. Greatness isn't about power, position, performance and possessions. Greatness is an attitude of the heart.

"But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." James 4:6

Greatness is attached to servanthood. We should live for the Greatness of God!

He motivates me to live for him instead of myself. Are you living as a Servant or a King?

STRESS {FREE} PRINTABLES

I created these FREE PRINTABLES to help anyone struggling to get organized.

If you have any problems printing them please let me know.

Is my sin worse than yours?

Some people have the idea that there are small and big sins. They think some are ok and some are not. But according to the Bible all sin is wicked in God's eyes. No one "gets away" with sin. We will all suffer consequences for the things we do or don't do.

Special situations do not justify any kind of sin. It's still disobedience to God no matter the circumstances.

When children of God know the law of God and still willfully disobey we will suffer loss.

"To him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin." James 4:17

God made it very clear to Saul that his sin of rebellion was just as bad as witchcraft.

"For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king" 1 Samuel 15:23

During the early church when they were having great growth many people were giving lots of their possessions for the cause of Christ. They were not made to do that, they just wanted to give and see the church grow. But there was one couple Ananias and Sapphira, that got caught up in the excitement of giving. They told everyone they gave all they had, but actually they had kept back a portion for themselves. Because they lied they both died in the church. It wasn't required for them to give it all, but the fact that they lied about giving it all, God took their lives. They lied to the man of God and to God himself.

No sin is justifiable in God's eyes. Yes sometimes His grace spares us the punishment we deserve but he is hoping that we will acknowledge our mistakes and turn away from them.

"Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound." Romans 5:20

Not getting immediate consequences for our sin is not an approval from God on our actions. Stealing one cent is still thievery. Cheating on your spouse only once is still adultery. Lying to the police about speeding is still lying. Yes, when we get saved our sins are forgiven, past-present-future. Staying in sin will not send us to hell, if we are saved, but it will steal our joy and cause us to suffer loss in our lives.

Our flesh gives us a fight every day when we wake up. We have a choice to make...please the flesh or please God.

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

Self Sacrifice in Ministry & Mothering

If you know anything about being in the ministry you know that its constantly sacrificing your time and energy for others. Its not easy because my flesh does not want to do those things. My spirit knows what is right and wants to do good for others, but my body does not.

We don't always see results from those things we do for others. Most of the time we won't see any kind of reward from sacrifice until we get to heaven. If you have the Holy Spirit living within you, then you should have the desire to live for Him. Living for God means dying to myself daily.

If we can learn to ignore what we want to instead do for someone else we will then be able to understand true sacrifice. Giving our lives to serve others and tell them about Jesus is not easy but it is worth it. Its the same way with mothering. I have to daily remember that my children need me and my life is not just about me anymore. Homeschooling 4 boys is definitely a daily challenge with many distractions and interruptions. The biggest challenge is not getting frustrated when they all need me at once.

I want to be the best mother and wife I can be. My flesh doesn't always want to cooperate. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed all day without having to cook or fold clothes. Sacrifice is something I have to do daily in order to honor God and take care of my children. My children's needs come before my wants.

Do you know what it's like to REALLY sacrifice your time or energy for those around you?

When they attack my (Pastor) Husband~How to respond

A pastor is held to a higher standard (James 3:1). He is responsible for teaching and shepherding his flock; as such, he needs to be held accountable.

But sometimes it feels like there are IMPOSSIBLE expectations for pastors.  Never sin. Never mess up. Never hurt someone’s feelings. In other words...don’t be human. But MY husband is human, and he does mess up. Therefore, he will face heavy criticism—some just and some unjust.

Why does criticism hurt so much? Maybe comparing criticism to the blows in a boxing match seems a bit extreme, but I know its true for me. Every time I hear someone criticize my husband, it feels like I’ve been punched in the gut. My husband (like so many other pastors) has been trained for ministry and knows to expect criticism. That doesn’t mean it’s easy for him, but he’s more prepared than I am. I am his wife, his other half. To hear people talking about him shakes me to the core. It is as much a criticism of me as it is of him because we are one.

Since I wasn’t trained to take these blows, how should I respond? I want to respond like I’m in the ring opposite these people, ready to strike back at them. I want to attack with everything in me. I want to defend my husband’s to all who will listen. I want to show his critics how wrong they are about him. But instead I cry. To watch him being attacked by a church member and so called "Christian" breaks my heart. I am restrained by the Holy Spirit to not say anything but the emotions inside me where so strong they came bubbling out of my eyes. I couldn't stop crying the entire service thinking of how my husband must feel but he was forced to get up and teach sunday school and preach pretending like nothing happened a few minutes before. 

I try to never forget that we are in an intense spiritual battle, and criticism can often be a tool of satan's to cause great damage.

What should we do? To be like Christ, we have to respond to our Christian brothers and sisters with love, whether we are in the wrong or not. 

Here are seven ways to respond to criticism:
Listen Respectfully, Pray, Seek Godly Advice, Remember That Hurt People, Hurt People

Cry Out To God, Get Some Distance, Be Encouraged By the Good

Homeschooling with a Flexible Routine

I have learned that life is easier when we have routine. Most people like to know what is happening next. It also seems that majority of people don't like change.

I think I know why....Our brains work really well in auto pilot. Knowing what needs to be done and going through the motions takes less energy than actually having to think about everything we have to do ALL the time.

So when it comes to parenting....having a routine is helpful to everyone involved. Our children need consistency. They need to know what is expected of them and how to complete the tasks required.

I like to have a general layout for our days but be flexible enough that if something comes up then I can change without freaking out.

For example: We like to do our school in the morning. I feel like the boys brains are at their best in the morning. So we get started after breakfast. But some days we wake up later than others because of a late night before. So we don't have a set time to start. Just whenever they wake up (usually 7:30-8:00) they eat then start on their lessons. They know what is expected of them and they know their chores that need to be done.

In the morning I decide what I will cook for dinner that night and the day goes pretty smooth unless we get a phone call or have a doctors appointment. Things happen and we have to be ok with situations as they arise. That is the beauty of homeschooling. The flexible schedule is stress free. I make the schedule and I have the freedom to change it at any time.

I know my body and I know my limitations. Pushing myself is not a good idea so I try not to set high standards that will cause stress.

We can only do so much. I prioritize my housework and do what is most needed first. I am not trying to create the Pinterest perfect home. There is no one to impress. As long as my children are fed and clean then I am happy. Laundry is a never ending chore and dishes must be done eventually. The boys help with all the other household chores and we all work together to keep things in order. But when we don't feel good we just do the bare minimum around here. And that is OK.....

10 ways to be a Good Friend

There are just some people you cannot help but like....here are some characteristics they have in common.

SMILE. If we are happy on the inside we need to show it on the outside. It makes a good first impression when we meet someone.

Ask questions. Some people are so self centered they only want to talk about themselves. But when we ask questions it makes the other person feel important. Asking questions is a good way to start a conversation and instill a sense of connection.

Be consistent. Being the same person at work, church or home is an important characteristic to have. Reliable and even tempered is a very likeable trait.

Call them by Name. I learned this from my dad. When we go to a store he always calls the employees by their names. I think it makes them feel special. I like the idea and making others feel good about themselves.

Put your phone away. I think its extremely rude to pull out your phone when someone is talking to you. Its disrespectful and sending the signal to the other person that they are not important to you. If its an emergency that is understandable but just mindlessly scrolling through social media is RUDE.

Be authentic. No one likes a fake person. Like mom always told me, BE YOURSELF. The people who are genuine are usually happier and much more likeable.

Be compassionate. Listening to others concerns and keeping an open mind is appealing. Showing that you truly care and sympathize is a great quality to possess.

Be Generous. Do for others like you would want them to do for you. I love to give people things. It makes me feel good and them feel good. One day you might need something and those same people will be more likely to help you if you need it.

Be Accountable. Everyone makes mistakes but the most likeable person is willing to admit they messed up and apologize if needed. Apologies go a long way in keeping real friendships.

Do seek attention. Most of us are put off by those who try to be the center of attention. Just speak friendly and considerate instead of trying to show others you are important. When others are trying to praise your good deeds focus the attention on those that helped you accomplish them. Appreciation for others shows you are humble.

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

Dress Code in Church?!?!

Do we have a dress code in our church? No. But we do have a Biblical standard we try to go by. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 2:9 "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array."

So Webster's dictionary defines modesty as avoiding impropriety or indecency, especially to avoid attracting sexual attention.

Everyone knows how men's minds work. They are attracted to what they see.

I don't want to attract attention to my body in a way that would make a man lust after me. 

Matthew 5:28 " But I say unto you, that whosever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

If you are a women dressing to look sexy or get the attention of men you are causing them to SIN.

I believe you will have to answer to God for being a stumbling block.

I know we cannot fix the WHOLE WORLD, but I would hope that so called Christian women would want to obey the Bible and not draw attention to themselves ESPECIALLY IN CHURCH!

We go to church to worship GOD not your curvy body. We don't need to be distracted by all your cleavage and tight clothes in GOD'S HOUSE!

It's hard enough we have to battle the flesh all week in this world.

And as my boys get older I am becoming INCREASINGLY disturbed by the lack of MODESTY in our churches today. I know I cannot keep them sheltered forever but SERIOUSLY....Don't put your body on display for all men to drool over YOU. 

People will identify you by what you wear. 

"And behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart." Proverbs 7:10

Doctors, policemen, fireman and chefs are all identified by their CLOTHES. If someone took one look at you could they tell you are a Christian by your clothes?

"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are ABOMINATION unto the LORD thy God." Deuteronomy 22:5

As women we can still be in style, beautiful without being IMMODEST.

Remember everywhere you go you are being an example to those around you and you are also representing the church you attend. Jesus is always watching, not just at church. God is everywhere at all times and he knows the desires of our hearts. 

If you are trying to get the attention of other men by the way you dress that is SIN!!!

If you have daughters you are teaching them that skin tight clothes and see through clothes are ok to wear to church. How sad! When my boys grow up I pray they marry a woman who is modest in the way she dresses. 

How to maximize your mornings

You have to start the night before. I am not a morning person. I wake up every morning fighting the desire to lay back down and go back to sleep. But if I plan ahead and use my energy the night before it makes getting up easier.

Are you too busy for Jesus?

The story of Mary and Martha gives us a great picture of giving and receiving hospitality.

One sister rushes around the house doing all the things, her hands full and her mind distracted, while the other sits by Jesus and soaks in His every word

My Role as a Pastor's Wife

My role as the pastor's wife is to be here to encourage him when he needs a shoulder to cry on. I help him as he struggles behind closed doors when things get hard. When he questions his

When You are Down to NOTHING!

Being broke is humbling. It makes us rely on God when there's nothing else to rely on. We don't have money to comfort us and keep us safe. We don't have savings to help us feel in control of our future.

Barely paying

Pointless Perfection

I don't understand why we try SO hard to be perfect. If you are a Christian you know that God doesn't promise us a perfect life here on earth. We are promised a perfect life and body once we get to heaven.

The comparison battle is

Are you on a diet?

Last week a 5 year old child asked me if I was on a diet?
To my surprise she thought I should be because her mom is....
Its very sad to think that parents are

FREE PRINTABLES for HOMESCHOOL

"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up."

Deuteronomy 6:7

In order to homeschool and spend very little on curriculum I have learned several websites that I can print from for FREE.

My older boys use a Christian Curriculum on the computers starting in 3rd grade.

So beginning in kindergarten or even preK I have found ways to teach them at home for little to nothing.

So if you are thinking about homeschooling or struggling to find FREE resources this is the best websites I have found over the years.

www.greatschools.org

www.tlsbooks.com

www.worksheetworks.com

www.worksheetfun.com

www.kidzone.ws

www.dltk-teach.com

www.kidsrcrafty.com

www.homeschoolmath.net

These websites are easy to navigate and have more than enough lessons for your children to learn all the basics.

All you need is a printer or you can go to your local library and use their printer during the summer to plan out your whole year in advance.
If you want to teach your children how to be an efficient typist than you can give them this website and they will learn the basics for FREE   ~Dance Mat Typing~

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." James 1:5

Addicted to Drugs!?!

We don't want to be addicted to drugs. We really don't want to be addicted to anything. And we don't want our children to be addicted to anything either. So we decided a

Comfort Outside of My Comfort Zone

I am so glad when God asks us to step outside our comfort zones He sends the "Comforter" with us.

Moving from Georgia to South Dakota was THE HARDEST

What NOT to say to a Homeschooler...

Here are some suggestions on what you should NOT say to a homeschooler when you meet them.

Maybe you are concerned and not sure how to react. I get it, its different, its weird. I know "Why would anyone want to homeschool?" But what do you say to them?

DON'T SAY:

"Aren't you worried about

What is YOUR gift?

God gives each one of us gifts to use for His glory.

I believe God gifted me with the ability to sing.

{I know what you are thinking. "That sounds

5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn't Quit

When things get hard and life brings struggles we CANNOT give up!

The devil would love to see us fail. He walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

I don't know about you but I am

Examining Expectations

I want my boys to behave and {almost perfect} most of the time.

If I'm honest, I just want them to NOT embarrass me. LOL

But I have to remember they are human. They have the same sinful nature as I do.

I cannot expect any more from them that God does from me.

I fail daily. I make mistakes. He forgives and loves me through it all.

My expectations are too high most of the time then I am disappointed when they make mistakes.

I try to remind myself God feels the same way when I mess up.

If we don't expect perfection the mistakes won't hurt so bad.

Maybe we should just EXPECT our children to mess up,

God knew we would do things we shouldn't but He sent His son Jesus to die for our sins anyway.

WHAT A GOD!!!

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  Romans 5:8

The Stuggle Is REAL!

Parenting is THE HARDEST JOB in the WORLD!
Training children is a repetitive EXHAUSTING process.
I get so tired of repeating myself EVERY DAY!
I know I'm not the only mom who struggles with this.

"Why can't they remember the rules?!"
{I think to myself}

"Do my children speak English?"
{I often wonder}

Then I remember how much my parents had to repeat things to me when I was a child.

Our children will only be with us for a short time compared to our entire lives.

For example if we are married 50 years, we only have our boys for about 18 years of their lives.

Time is short when you look at it like that.

My window of opportunity is closing in. We are trying to train them up in the way they should go before they leave.

Teaching them life lessons and hoping I didn't forget anything.

I want them all to grow up to be good husbands one day and good fathers.

Mothering is a daily sacrifice of myself, my time, my energy to pour into my children DAILY.

The Struggle Is REAL!

What REALLY matters?

Winter time is the time of year we tend to get colds and coughs. We sleep less and cough more. I've been using the diffuser for my essential oils daily. Boiling water on the stove keeps moisture in the air. Also using a humidifier upstairs.

Nose bleeds are my new normal. Blowing my nose is scary because I never know when it might start pouring blood.

My homemade remedies for cough, vicks and sore throat soother are used daily.

Its too cold to play outside and everyone just wants to cuddle up on the couch and watch movies.

Then there is the mom guilt. I try not to beat myself up when my kids aren't as active or when I don't keep the house clean.

I have learned over the last 19 years of being married that a clean house doesn't mean I'm a good wife or mother. It just means we live here. "People are more important than things".

Who cares if the laundry stays in the basket a few days?

I have relaxed a lot over the years about the housework. I used to stress out SO BAD about keeping things spotless.

Prioritizing things in order of importance helps me decided what I have to do NOW and what can wait until later.

Here are the order of things in my mind:

Everyone is fed
Everyone is clean
School is done
Dishes are done
Laundry is folded

On the days I have a headache or I'm just too tired the laundry and dishes are neglected.

I try to remember that its not going to kill anyone if the dishes sit in the sink all night. LOL

My husband is great about that too and never complains or fusses about things left undone.

He understands me and knows I will do it all eventually.

Not sure if I could do this life with anyone else....He just knows me.