A pastor is held to a higher standard (James 3:1). He is responsible for teaching and shepherding his flock; as such, he needs to be held accountable.
But sometimes it feels like there are IMPOSSIBLE expectations for pastors. Never sin. Never mess up. Never hurt someone’s feelings. In other words...don’t be human. But MY husband is human, and he does mess up. Therefore, he will face heavy criticism—some just and some unjust.
Why does criticism hurt so much? Maybe comparing criticism to the blows in a boxing match seems a bit extreme, but I know its true for me. Every time I hear someone criticize my husband, it feels like I’ve been punched in the gut. My husband (like so many other pastors) has been trained for ministry and knows to expect criticism. That doesn’t mean it’s easy for him, but he’s more prepared than I am. I am his wife, his other half. To hear people talking about him shakes me to the core. It is as much a criticism of me as it is of him because we are one.
Since I wasn’t trained to take these blows, how should I respond? I want to respond like I’m in the ring opposite these people, ready to strike back at them. I want to attack with everything in me. I want to defend my husband’s to all who will listen. I want to show his critics how wrong they are about him. But instead I cry. To watch him being attacked by a church member and so called "Christian" breaks my heart. I am restrained by the Holy Spirit to not say anything but the emotions inside me where so strong they came bubbling out of my eyes. I couldn't stop crying the entire service thinking of how my husband must feel but he was forced to get up and teach sunday school and preach pretending like nothing happened a few minutes before.
I try to never forget that we are in an intense spiritual battle, and criticism can often be a tool of satan's to cause great damage.
What should we do? To be like Christ, we have to respond to our Christian brothers and sisters with love, whether we are in the wrong or not.
Here are seven ways to respond to criticism:
Listen Respectfully, Pray, Seek Godly Advice, Remember That Hurt People, Hurt People
Listen Respectfully, Pray, Seek Godly Advice, Remember That Hurt People, Hurt People
Cry Out To God, Get Some Distance, Be Encouraged By the Good
