When they attack my (Pastor) Husband~How to respond

A pastor is held to a higher standard (James 3:1). He is responsible for teaching and shepherding his flock; as such, he needs to be held accountable.

But sometimes it feels like there are IMPOSSIBLE expectations for pastors.  Never sin. Never mess up. Never hurt someone’s feelings. In other words...don’t be human. But MY husband is human, and he does mess up. Therefore, he will face heavy criticism—some just and some unjust.

Why does criticism hurt so much? Maybe comparing criticism to the blows in a boxing match seems a bit extreme, but I know its true for me. Every time I hear someone criticize my husband, it feels like I’ve been punched in the gut. My husband (like so many other pastors) has been trained for ministry and knows to expect criticism. That doesn’t mean it’s easy for him, but he’s more prepared than I am. I am his wife, his other half. To hear people talking about him shakes me to the core. It is as much a criticism of me as it is of him because we are one.

Since I wasn’t trained to take these blows, how should I respond? I want to respond like I’m in the ring opposite these people, ready to strike back at them. I want to attack with everything in me. I want to defend my husband’s to all who will listen. I want to show his critics how wrong they are about him. But instead I cry. To watch him being attacked by a church member and so called "Christian" breaks my heart. I am restrained by the Holy Spirit to not say anything but the emotions inside me where so strong they came bubbling out of my eyes. I couldn't stop crying the entire service thinking of how my husband must feel but he was forced to get up and teach sunday school and preach pretending like nothing happened a few minutes before. 

I try to never forget that we are in an intense spiritual battle, and criticism can often be a tool of satan's to cause great damage.

What should we do? To be like Christ, we have to respond to our Christian brothers and sisters with love, whether we are in the wrong or not. 

Here are seven ways to respond to criticism:
Listen Respectfully, Pray, Seek Godly Advice, Remember That Hurt People, Hurt People

Cry Out To God, Get Some Distance, Be Encouraged By the Good

Homeschooling with a Flexible Routine

I have learned that life is easier when we have routine. Most people like to know what is happening next. It also seems that majority of people don't like change.

I think I know why....Our brains work really well in auto pilot. Knowing what needs to be done and going through the motions takes less energy than actually having to think about everything we have to do ALL the time.

So when it comes to parenting....having a routine is helpful to everyone involved. Our children need consistency. They need to know what is expected of them and how to complete the tasks required.

I like to have a general layout for our days but be flexible enough that if something comes up then I can change without freaking out.

For example: We like to do our school in the morning. I feel like the boys brains are at their best in the morning. So we get started after breakfast. But some days we wake up later than others because of a late night before. So we don't have a set time to start. Just whenever they wake up (usually 7:30-8:00) they eat then start on their lessons. They know what is expected of them and they know their chores that need to be done.

In the morning I decide what I will cook for dinner that night and the day goes pretty smooth unless we get a phone call or have a doctors appointment. Things happen and we have to be ok with situations as they arise. That is the beauty of homeschooling. The flexible schedule is stress free. I make the schedule and I have the freedom to change it at any time.

I know my body and I know my limitations. Pushing myself is not a good idea so I try not to set high standards that will cause stress.

We can only do so much. I prioritize my housework and do what is most needed first. I am not trying to create the Pinterest perfect home. There is no one to impress. As long as my children are fed and clean then I am happy. Laundry is a never ending chore and dishes must be done eventually. The boys help with all the other household chores and we all work together to keep things in order. But when we don't feel good we just do the bare minimum around here. And that is OK.....