Raising four boys is not easy. I was not trained. I am learning as I go. I tell my oldest son Jacob he taught me how to be a mother, he was my practice child. I didn't know what I was doing with him.
Our boys have taught us patience and we have learned to trust God more than ever before to provide for our every need. When had our first child we thought we could figure it out on our own and we didn't really need to ask for help.
Then our second son was born with his birth defects and we leaned on God so much more than ever before in our lives.
Through Jaron God taught us humility.
I was afraid to have another baby because the chances of having another cleft affected one.
God sent us Jonah.
We had just been through so much with Jaron with surgeries and therapy and it wasn't until Jonah was born and in my arms in church one Sunday that God showed me he was my comfort and his name means "dove" the symbol God sent to Noah as a sign of comfort after the flood.
And trust me after three children I thought I was done. I told everyone I didn't want anymore. I was busy and felt like I had all I could handle. Emotionally, at times, I was overwhelmed. But when Jonah turned 2 God changed my heart and my desires as a mother.
I missed those bonding moments of nursing my newborns.
I wanted one more chance to carry a baby inside me.
So along came Justus.
God gave us all boys and we are so thankful!
Of course there are days I want to cry. Sometimes I want to give up. It gets hard and they don't always behave but I just take a deep breath and RELAX. Things are not always going to be perfect. Dinner won't always be on time. They won't always go straight to bed. My mental schedule doesn't always go as planned but that's ok. I have learned that having fun is more important and when I lay in the floor and play legos with them that's when they are the most happy.
When we all go outside and walk around the neighborhood or they ride bikes together,
those are the times the boys will remember the most.
So when I take them out in public by myself and most of the time people ask "Are they all yours?" of course I say "yes." They usually say "Bless Your Heart!" or "How do you do it?!"
Here it is the answer to the most frequently asked question in my life...
Prayer, "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess 5:17) actually.
(And some caffeine)
(And some caffeine)
I have to be in a constant state of mentally asking God for help throughout the day
or I will lose my patience with the boys and it happens...
It helps that they are using christian curriculum because keeps me in check when I am helping them with lessons and they are learning Bible verses you can't get mad or frustrated as easily when you always have verses in front of you.
I have to say the more children I had the easier it got, for one reason, I need God more.
I need Him in the morning~noon and night. I need Him to wipe away my tears when my baby won't let me sleep. I need Him to calm me down when I'm changing peed/puke sheets at 3am. I need Him to keep my boys safe because I only have two hands and two eyes when crossing a parking lot.
I need Him in the morning~noon and night. I need Him to wipe away my tears when my baby won't let me sleep. I need Him to calm me down when I'm changing peed/puke sheets at 3am. I need Him to keep my boys safe because I only have two hands and two eyes when crossing a parking lot.
I needed God when I had one and two children. But, I had all of this STUFF - books, head knowledge and baby gear and Grandmothers and know-it-all voices in my head.
So I fumbled along and tried to raise my boys in the Land of I Can Do This.
But, God has taught me that He loves my children more than I do.
He wants me to trust in Him and lean on him for everything.
