Thursday, November 21, 2013

When things get in the way...

....of serving God.

We are still alive I have just been so busy. And every time I sit down to blog my mind is filled all the things I want to say but not sure where to start.

So I will start with the AWFUL PILLS! I went to a neurologist in June for my headaches and trying to get to the bottom of it. I was desperate for relief. He did an MRI and found no explanation. So he suggested I start taking Topomax daily for migraine prevention. I started taking this medicine and the only side effect I noticed was lack of appetite. As time went on I was more emotional than ever before and having more anxiety. The thoughts of wanting to die and depression slowly set in. I was too afraid to tell anyone....not even my husband. I was ashamed that I would even think that way. It wasn't until September that I realized it could all be a side effect of the topomax. I did some research and learned this is also used for an anti depressant and for those who aren't depressed it can have a reverse effect.

There was a list a mile long of all the side effects and an unreal amount of suicides and suicide attempts by people who took this medicine. I immediately stopped taking it in but it took about 10 days for those bad thoughts and feelings to go away. Once all the medicine was out of my system I felt like ME again. Looking back I cannot believe the things that went through my head. It was THE HARDEST 3 months of my LIFE!
I would rather have headaches everyday!

Then our van broke! We needed a starter and we didn't have the money to fix it. Thanks to a generous family member we got it fixed and the next day the struts broke and it felt like we were on a roller coaster riding down the road. It wasn't good to drive like that so we had to borrow the church van for a couple days until we could get the struts replaced. Thanks to our church family we got that paid for too.

Our van is so old and has so many miles but we cannot afford a new one. We serviced the transmission for $250 but it still smells awful every time we drive it. Something is going bad and I fear it won't be long until we cannot all go to church because we can't fit in his car. Oh but wait, his car is falling apart too. Battery is dead now and its parked.

We also have been picking up and dropping off other kids for church squeezing our children in the back so we can fit everyone. We are praying for God to provide us with a new van one day soon so we can bring more people to church. We want to do more for God but its so hard when we don't have the means.  I hate money and how it can destroy families but if we had more to give to the ministry we would. There are so many things we would love to do like go on mission trips but its financially impossible. My dream has always been to live in an RV and travel the country singing and Chris preaching. Homeschooling on the road. It just seems like fun!

We will just keep praying and trusting God to provide a way for us to do more for Him.