Sometimes I just feel like a horrible mother I cannot get my children to behave and it can be very discouraging. I wonder sometimes if I made a mistake in choosing to homeschool, It's a daily challenge to make the boys do their school and focus on their lessons. Every time I think of giving up and putting them in public school I get another email from Fox news about another school shooting. It really scares me to think about what could happen if I put my children back in public school and if someone brought a gun in the school system. I would never be able to forgive myself for giving up on homeschooling them.
We know it's the best thing for our children to be home with us. We are able to make our own schedule according to revivals and church activities. Not being tied down and stuck on the public school schedule is wonderful! They are learning Bible principles in almost all their lessons. I mean the way I think of it... isn't all parenting difficult? I can't just give up that would be so wrong of me I have to keep going one day at a time. I just keep telling myself "you can do this Terri, don't give up on your children they need you and they look to you for guidance".
So I feel a lot of pressure to make the best decisions for them and do the right things. I also set very high standards for myself and strive for perfection. When I don't meet my goals I am dissappointed in myself. (please tell my I'm not the only one) Being a mother is the hardest job in the world! I truly believe it, not only because I'm training children to become adults one day, but also because I do not get paid for what I do. Maybe when they grow up they will take care of me or one day in heaven I'll be rewarded (I hope). But for now I have to stay focused and not let the devil steal my joy.
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