Finding Encouragement

When I feel discouraged and down about life I go to the Bible. I search for verses to lift my spirit and comfort my heart. 

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9

There are days like this when I don't want to do anything and I get sad or lonely.

The feeling of isolation can be overwhelming at times. The devil really knows how to kick us while we are down. 

I have posted scripture all over our house in cabinets and on mirrors to encourage us.

Being the wife of a pastor is not easy and the pressures are stressful.

I know that when I call of the name of Jesus that satan has to leave me alone.

When we are weak He is strong.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness, Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."  2 Corinthians 12:9

So when we call on Him in our times of weakness He can reveal His strength and help us through our difficult situations.

Learning how to apply this to my daily life has been a very hard lesson.

There is no comfort in this world for a Christian. This is not my home.

I am longing to go to Heaven and be done with all the pain and heartaches of life.

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory."
2 Corinthians 4:17



Perspective Problems

Life is really 10%  of what happens to us and 90% how we react!

Perspective is VERY crucial in our lives. You can let struggles ruin you or you can learn from them.

I believe God allows us to go through things in our lives to teach us things. We learn how to trust Him more and rely on Him in times of need.

When someone says something we don't like we should not allow that to ruin our whole day.

People come into our lives as a blessin or a lesson :-)

Whatever we focus on will shape our perspective.


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Just because we don't always agree or see things the same as others that doesn't mean they are wrong.

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BE OPTIMISTIC!!!

Breaking Up With Perfect

I have always wanted everything to be organized and clean. I like things to be in order and always presentable. BUT keeping up with that image is EXHAUSTING!!!

Sometimes I just want to be lazy and not care so much. ALWAYS looking presentable is HARD and I don't always feel the way I look.

I put on make up to try to cover up my flaws on the outside and cover my mood on the inside.

Why do we always feel the need to impress or perform to make others believe we are ok?

I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. Accepting my flaws and learning to be myself no matter who I am with.....

ITS HARD! BEING REAL IS SO RARE THESE DAYS!!!

I am breaking up with perfect. I AM DONE!

That is the best advice you can give any young woman....BE YOURSELF!!!

Don't try to impress or deceive. JUST BE NORMAL.....

Being real means being vulnerable.....letting people in and showing your true feelings.

Its so FREEING~BE {TRUE} YOURSELF!!!

Worthy & Wanted

Everyone wants to feel needed. We all have the desire to be appreciated and excepted.

When things happen in our family and we all want to help, it doesn't always work out.
So many of us want to lead but few want to follow.

I enjoy doing behind the scenes things to make it all come together nicely. I don't want to be front and center of attention. I don't want credit for anything just like to be helpful.

Some may not feel worthy to help or participate. Others may not feel wanted to join in.

But we ALL have the desire to be accepted. No one wants to be alone and never needed.

Community is a basic human need. We need connection with others for emotional and mental support. 

To be isolated from everyone and to never have eye contact or friendship is depressing.

So when we realize how lonely it can be and how it makes us feel we should consider that there are others out there who feel the same way.

Instead of being critical and competitive why don't we encourage each other.

Befriend mom at the library who looks exhausted with a toddler.

Start a conversation with a new mom in the line and the grocery store.

Everyone needs that human connection. The brain actually releases dopamine when we make eye contact with other. It really does make us feel important to see others care.

So make someone's day today and smile at the cashier. Talk to the lonely mother at the park. 

Don't every ASSUME that people are ok. Looks can be deceiving. I have battle some depression and one way I try to cover it up and cheer myself up is by putting on make up. It might look like I'm ok but inside I might be sad, lonely, depressed or worse. 

Be Kind to the Unkind people, they need it the MOST!


Creatures of Habit

We are all creatures of habit. Whether you realize it or not you probably do a lot of the same things every day. Most of us like our routines and don't like change. We drink the same things every day and we like to eat the same foods.

We watch the same shows and use the same products for years. Some may call it getting stuck in a rut. Others call it routine. Its really just perspective. I enjoy my routine and I feel like I work better with a schedule and a plan.

My children like routine and seem to do best with a schedule.

I don't like surprises. Knowing what to expect before it happens in comforting.

When you are raised a certain way and taught a specific religion most have a hard time forgetting what was instilled in them.

Ways of life and eating habits are formed at home as a child. I believe instead of saying obesity is hereditary maybe doctors should look at the lifestyle of the parents and grandparents.

It is our nature to stick with what we are taught. To not step outside the box. For the few that decide to go against the grain and blaze a new trail....they will never forget what they were taught as a child.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

Maybe that is why abusive parents raise children who abuse their children.
Maybe that is why obese parents raise obese children. (they are taught bad eating habits)

Instead of labeling everything as a disease or a disorder maybe we should consider it a lifestyle that was taught as a child.





Hurt People.....hurt people

When we change the way we look at people it will change the way we respond to them.

Have you ever been hurt by someone else? We all have at one point in our lives.

Everyone has a past and things we don't like to remember. It effects our personality and they way we behave today.

If we can put on glasses of compassion and pity instead of critical ones, we might be able to relate rather than react negatively.

As Christians we need to be aware of the suffering of others. Try to see past the sarcasm and façade. They are obviously trying to cover up some deep pain and hurt.

Those around us often become the victims of our harsh tones and fits of rage.
We take out our frustrations on others instead of taking our burdens to the Lord and
LEAVING IT THERE.

Our emotional pain causes us to suspect wrong motives of other peoples actions and words.

It really all goes back to treat others the way you want to be treated.

"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."
Luke 6:31

Instead of taking our frustrations out on others we need to be nice and hope they will be nice in return. Pray for those who seem grouchy or snippy. Maybe they had a bad day or they were fighting with their spouse. Maybe they had a rough night or they are having cronic pain.

Just BE NICE!!! Our tone of voice makes a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE!!!

Faith? or Foolish?

While walking through this life there are times we have to learn to have faith in God. 

Trusting He is going to provide for us. Some may think this is foolish to believe in something we cannot see. Others may call you crazy for waiting on God to come through.

I know that God gave us common sense to be safe and logical. We know what the Bible says about faith. 

There is a fine line between FAITH and FOOLISHNESS

Praying for His guidance during the difficult times and believing He is able to take care of you.

We all try to do things on our own. We want to fix things our way, right away.

Learning to wait on God and truly BELIEVING He is able 

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” Ephesians 3:20

Running out of groceries? Can't pay your bills? Need new tires?

I have see God provide in ways we never expected several times over the years.

Pray before using a credit card maybe something is coming in the mail. Don't live above your means. God will not allow His children to go hungry.

Trust HIM and HE WILL PROVIDE!

Does God Make Mistakes?

No He does not. Sometimes we may not be able to see the reason things happen. 

I believe God knows exactly what He is doing and everything happens only because He allows it. 

The lessons learned from each trial make us stronger and we learn to rely on Him more.

If our lives here on this earth were always perfect without troubles when would we ever call on Him for anything?

Why would there need to be a Heaven? If there wasn't any sickness or pain, sadness or death, life would be perfect and we would never pray to God or trust Him for anything.

So when God allows things in our lives we need to learn to trust that He has a purpose for it all.

He's trying to teach us a lesson. Maybe get our attention. Humility is truly the best teacher.

We cannot do everything on our own. We must be humble for God to use us.

1 Peter 5:6 - "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may
exalt you in due time."
We are not promised an easy life. 
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Sometimes God allows things to happen so we will acknowledge Him and his strength in our weakness.

James 4:6 - "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble"

Fresh out of Amazing!

Have you ever met someone who does it all?!
They seem to have a it all together.
The looks, the brains, the perfect children....

It seems like every time you talk to them they are so busy with all their academic achievements and goals. Their children can do no wrong and maybe they have even said to you

"We are all over achievers"  I was in SHOCK when those words were spoken to my face.

No matter what you say or do some people just think they are better.

"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

And like I mentioned in my last post I am not competitive. So instead of try to do better and compete or try hard to live up to those standards I just want to crawl in a hole and hide.

Sometimes you just want to be yourself.....Well all the time really I just want to be comfortable in my own skin and I am while I am at home.

But the second we leave the house and step out into the world it seems to game is ON!!!

I am NOT amazing. My husband is not amazing. My children are not amazing.
JESUS IS AMAZING!

I have a hard time bragging on anyone. People will fail you. I make mistakes all the time.

If we put people up on pedestals and constantly praise them, when they do make mistakes they fall will be that much harder to accept.

So one of the many life lessons I have learned is not to put confidence in man.

"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." Psalm 118:8




Life is NOT A COMPETITION!!!

Why do so many feel the need to compete with each other?
Always trying to have a better car or nicer clothes?
I don't understand why we feel the pressure of others around us to compete and compare.
By nature I am not a competitive person at all. I just want to have fun!
Being set apart from the world is the goal not like everyone else.
Being no respecter of persons is the goal. We are all on level playing ground
No one should be treated or respected more than another.
No matter what your skin color is or how small or big you are.
Everyone deserves respect.

I tend to befriend the outcasts. The ones no one else wants to be friends with. I pity the lonely and always put myself in others shoes maybe to a fault at times.

Nobody in this country should go hungry. We all have too much and could probably stand to miss a few meals. 

Instead of always competing with our neighbors and trying to look better or act smarter than everyone maybe we should consider each others feelings. 

Most likely the insecure thoughts you have are also things your neighbor struggles with.

We are built for community.
People need encouragement.
This is a battle we are in NOT a competition!

It's a spiritual battle and when we can acknowledge the struggle is with satan not with each other we might be able to win the battle. Fighting against our friends, spouses or neighbors will only hurt each other. This is not a competition.
STOP COMPARING YOUR LIFE TO THEIRS!

We are all made different for a reason.

Our gold standard is to compare our lives to Jesus. He is the one we are supposed to please not anyone else. God is the one who will judge us.



Cancer Causing Toxins

Over the last 15 years of being a mother, I have learned that we are surrounded by toxins. I have gradually been decreasing the amount of toxins in our home ever since. It all started with denying vaccines for our children. Then I learned about food coloring contributing to hyperactivity. So I made up my mind to teach our boys to love water not juices, sodas or Kool-Aid.

I always knew organic foods are best but have not always been able to afford it. I buy organic when I can to limit the number of pesticides we ingest.

I have been making my own deodorant, toothpaste and face wash for a while now. I also have been trying to stop using plastics for our food storage. Avoiding the microwave as much as possible and drinking more herbal teas and tinctures for natural healing.

Decreasing the amount of chemicals that I absorb in my skin by using the most natural shampoo & conditioner and soap for my hair and body. I also bought a chemical free laundry soap.

As the mother of my children and primary meal provider it is my responsibility to offer our children the most healthy options. If one of my boys get cancer I want to have a clear conscience knowing I did the best I could do to protect them.

Years ago I determined to avoid bug sprays and sun blocks also. I have gradually been finishing the make up I have and replacing it with more natural and organic make up products.

I always try organic medicines and home remedies when we get sick before we go to the doctor ONLY as a last resort.

I learned about 10 years ago that garlic is a natural antibiotic so when they get ear aches I put a couple drops of garlic oil in the ear and they don't have any more pain.

Trying to avoid antibiotics at all costs.

If you did the research on all the chemicals in your home you would be SHOCKED at how many are CANCER causing TOXINS!


Devastating Distractions

There are so many things in this world that can become distracting. Our phones, computers, tv's.....

We forget what is most important in life when we get sucked in to social media, video games, movies, and more.

Its only when someone we love has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, we are acutely aware of the value of life. Our perspective changes immediately in every area of our lives.

Why can't we live every day like it was our last, appreciating the little things, Enjoying our children, loving our family with every part of our beings.

" Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." James 4:14

We must remember not to let the idols of this world distract us from the most important people in our lives. No matter how many things in this world we acquire we cannot take any of it with us when we die.

Trying to be like everyone one else and keep up with the "Jones's" does not have any eternal value or purpose. We should do everything with consideration for eternity.

I am not saying this because I am perfect at it. But I am saying this because I am the least materialistic person you will ever meet. I prefer to buy used and have no desire to compete with anyone. COMPARISON IS A TRAP FROM THE DEVIL!

How devastating would it be if we missed our child's first steps because we were watching TV or playing a video game. I wonder how many have died because of distracted drivers playing or texting on cell phones.

Often times we get offended by something that is said and we let it ruin our day or week thinking about it and focusing on that one thing. How silly in the grander scheme of things. How childish to allow one persons opinions or comments to control our feelings.

"Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." Colossians 3:13

We have to remember this is a spiritual battle. The greek word for offense is "skandalon" which means the part of an animal trap where the food is hung. Traps are set by the devil to distract us from what really matters.

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour" 1 Peter 5:8

We need to learn to how to ignore the naysayers and trust in the Lord.

"Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them." Psalm 119:165

Keep your eyes on the main goal of telling others about Jesus!




Most Vulnerable person in Church

Everyone who goes to church can be helped or hurt while they are there. No matter who they are, saint, sinner, preacher, old timer, newcomer or child. Everyone is vulnerable and should be treated respectfully.
The pastors wife is not excluded from this and yet many churches treat her as an (unpaid) employee. She is almost always a reliable helper as well as under appreciated. You might not think so but she is the most vulnerable person in the building.
She is the most likely person to be the victim of gossip, impossible expectations and pastoral frustrations. The pastors wife can be hurt in so many ways-attacks on her husband, her children and herself. Her pain is magnified but one HUGE reality: She cannot fight back. She cannot tell them how she feels when they criticize her husband or children.
She has to take it in silence, most of the time. It takes the best Christian in the church to be a pastors wife and that's the problem: she's really just like everyone else. When the enemy attacks it hurts her too.
The pastors wife holds no position and was not voted on by the church. And yet, no one person is more influential in making the pastor a success of failure. She is expected to dress modestly but not too ornate. She is expected to be the perfect mother with well behaved children, her husbands biggest supporter, prayer warrior, attending all church functions and of course a great cook.
She is expected to understand he husband could be called away at all hours of the day. If she complains about him being on call 24/7 she can expect no sympathy from the members. If she does say anything they will only remind her this is why they pay him a big salary. "Well you married a preacher what did you expect?" The pastors children usually suffer in silence as they share their daddy with all the church members and can do little about it.

How can you help your pastors wife?
-Allow her to be herself and to serve where she is gifted. Don't tell her how to raise her kids. Do not try to get to her husband through her with your helpful suggestions.
-Show her love and appreciation.
-Pray for her and the pressures inside the pastors family. Pray for her as she supports her husband. Pray for protection against the adversary, their health and safety.
-Offer help with her children or extra funds for a family vacation.
-Sometimes she just needs a friend to take her side. She will be criticized and to some she can't do anything right. Be the voice of appreciation. Most people won't say anything when someone is criticizing the pastors wife, but you can speak up for her.

Most wives to pastors feel inadequate. They want to be supportive, keep a clean house and have perfect children. But there are only so many hours in a day and she is not superwoman. They feel guilty for being tired and worry what others think about them.

Be an encourager. Find the good things in others and pray for the rest. Remember how hard it is to change yourself before you start trying to change others.
This is a spiritual battle we are in and we cannot allow the devil to steal our JOY!

When life gets too hard...

I have been trying so hard to not be a negative person. I really want to focus on the the positive things in life and not allow the devil to steal my joy.

Although, when all six of us got the flu last month, I would be lying if I said it was easy. I found it really hard to see the good in that week. Trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me was not easy.

I really just wanted to cry every day and prayed we could just get some sleep without coughing ALL NIGHT.

Being sleep deprived, without an appetite, and very little energy is depressing. I tried so hard to think of anything good that might come out of this.

After lots of thought I came up with this.....

We saved money on groceries...no one had an appetite.
I did not have to cook every night.
We did not do school that week.
So many things were not happening because we were all sick.

I wanted to find JOY in this very difficult time.

God has been SO good to our family.
Through all of our struggles...
Financially....
Emotionally....
Spiritually....
HE HAS PROVIDED!!!

I have NO COMPLAINTS!

I want to try and acknowledge the good parts and ignore the bad times. I don't like to give the devil credit for all his works. I try to recognize difficult things happen and they didn't come to stay....
"THEY COME TO PASS"

So when life gets hard.....CHOOSE JOY!!!!

To many people miss the silver lining because they are looking for gold.

Find the beauty that God gives us BECAUSE of our circumstances.

Focus on living the best life with what you have in the moment.