Saturday, September 08, 2012


I have suffered from headaches most of my life. I'm not sure what causes all of them. Some are tension headaches or sinus headaches. I have had some migraines but a lot of them are unknown. When excedrin won't work and 4 ibuprofen won't work I sleep on an icepack and pray for a mircale. I  have had CT scans and MRI's to check for anurisms but they found none. THANK GOD! I was told if I had one it would have been there since birth. I went to a chiropractor for years and it helped some. But I just can't afford it now. I've even had sinus surgery to lesson the sinus infections and try to cut back on some headaches but still I suffer....

I would say about 80% of the time I am in pain. I have learned to live with it and function normally most of the time. But then there are those times when I am in such severe pain I think I might die and I get scared. I'm not scared of dying...I'm afraid of leaving my boys without a mother. Not that I think I'm a great mom but just the thought of a child growing up without their mom breaks my heart. And those times when the pain is so severe and my husband is at work I get nervous. What if I pass out? I have taught Jacob how to call 911 and what to say and do if something happens to me. He is so smart and I have confidence he can take care of the others for a little while until someone comes. I just don't want to put my children through this. It's too much for them to worry about.

Throughout the years and pregnancies I have noticed that while taking my prenatal vitamins I didn't get as many headaches. And if I slacked off taking them for even a week the headaches would come back severely. I am sure I don't eat enough vegetables and fruits. So maybe it's a vitamin deficiency.

This weekend has been horrible. The pain has been constant for about 36 hours now. Trying to function like this is not easy. It all started when I took the boys to the park Friday after they finished their schoolwork. We wanted to get out so I packed their scooters and suprised them with a trip to the park with sidewalks through the woods. They loved it! It was getting hot and I was feeling week. I packed lunch for all of them and brought waters for everyone. After being there only about an hour I told Jacob we needed to leave because I felt like I was gonna pass out. So he {being the kindhearted child} said let me push the stroller with Justus in it up this hill to the van. We all got in and I sat there. My hands and legs still shaking. Trying to get cooled off and drinking my water. I ate the babies PB&J and waited for my body to feel normal. The dizziness wore off and we made it home. The headache started shortly after and hasn't quit yet.

I just remembered I haven't been taking my vitamins in the last week or 2 and maybe that's why.....Part of the reason is I HATE TAKING PILLS and the other reason is because the generic vitamins I bought make me want to PUKE!

So here I am blogging at 11:30pm while everyone else sleeps.....
I really need a head transplant but until then I am going to lay down on an ice pack and pray for a miracle.