Monday, March 07, 2011

My Biggest Fears

Well since I'm being honest I thought now would be as good a time as any to tell you the things I fear most in this life.

I know it sounds crazy but I have the worst fear of having a car wreck and my children being with me and I get hurt or die and they have to see it happen. It sounds horrible but it's been a big fear of mine. And right up there with that is dying and leaving them all behind. Especially when I am nursing the first thing I think of is. "they won't get anymore of my milk". I know silly thing to think of ....but hey this is me....being honest.

And I also worry about the bus wrecking with my boys on it. OMGOSH there have been a few days it was a few minutes late and I almost got in the van to go find it.

I don't worry about these things daily but they are always in the back of my head. Maybe it is just the devil trying to steal my joy and doubt God. That is just some of my weaknesses. I know as a christian I should have more faith. It's not that I don't trust God, I just have a fear of the unknown.

I just don't want to pretend like I'm perfect and I never worry. Being a christian doesn't mean I'm perfect it just means I'm striving to do better; and it's a daily struggle.